• LJ Evans

Hopefully Ever After - Surviving Loss


SPOILER ALERT – If you haven’t read my book, my life as a country album, in its entirety, you do not want to read this post. 😊 In my book, SPOILER ALERT - Cam faces an enormous loss. The loss of her soulmate, best friend, and purpose for living. She loses the only thing she’s really striven for her in her entire life. The struggles she went through to find her “hopefully” ever after, made me think of a book I was given when I lost my grandmother in college. It was called How to Survive the Loss of a Love by Harold H. Bloomfield, M.D., Melba Colgrove Ph.D., and Peter McWilliams. The book helps guide people through the stages of grief with easy to read tips, self-affirmations, and poems by Peter McWilliams

I recently reread the book trying to look through it as if I was Cam. As I did that, I wanted to share some thoughts and poems with you to potentially help you if you are in the midst of surviving a loss. Cam was fortunate to be surrounded by people who loved her and got her help when she was unable to move forward.

If are unsure you are able to survive this loss, GET HELP. If you are feeling suicidal, contact https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org/ or call them at 1-800-273-8255

First, Cam needed to not only acknowledge her loss but also acknowledge the fact that she had “survived”; that she was left behind. Can you acknowledge everything that you’ve had to leave behind because of this loss?

The fear that I would

come home one day and

find you gone has turned

into the pain of the

Reality.

“What will I do if it happens?”

I would ask myself.

What will I do

now that it

has?

By Peter McWilliams

Second, Cam had to find someone to talk too. She found a therapist, and she found an outlet through her journals. Is there someone out there for you? Even some social media buddy that you can message? If not, there are lots of local support groups seek out one that discusses your particular loss.

all I need is

someone to

talk to

about

you

but

you

are the

only person

I can really

talk to.

Trapped

By Peter McWilliams

Third, Cam had to allow herself to move forward. She moved out of the bedroom they shared, and she went out to the lake and swam, but then she thought about jumping from the cliff. Remember to let yourself make mistakes and slip ups and regress.

Life is

not a

struggle.

It’s a

wiggle.

By Peter McWilliams

Fourth, once you can find a way to once again engage in everyday activities it will help you to not only heal but grow from the experience. Cam noted that she was just going through the motions every day, but eventually those motions had meaning and laughter behind them. Eventually they had purpose. Give yourself time to find this path back from the dark side to the good side by doing day to day activities. It is only on the other side of the grief, when you’ve found some semblance of yourself or a new version of yourself that you will be able to look back at your loss with any kind of positive emotion.

and

through

all the tears

and the

sadness

and the

pain

comes the

one thought

that can

make

me internally

smile again:

I

have

loved.

By Peter McWilliams

Last, remember, that you are worth the effort you are putting into yourself. I hope that you will find the struggle that Cam went through a reminder that there is hope at the end of the day. That there is another chance out there for happiness and love and everything that you deserve.

It is a risk to love.

What if it doesn’t

work out?

Ah,

but what if it does?

By Peter McWilliams

Like Cam, I hope you find a new “hopeful” ever after even if it isn’t the originally planned “happily” ever after that you had dreamed.

#loss #survival #recovery #McWilliams #mylifeasacountryalbum

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